Save yourself
by xfmoon
Summary: Two perspectives on the same event, different but still the same. Too cryptic? It makes more sense if you read it. It's not the Alamo, so no pressure or anything.


**A/N:** Thought I'd try something a little different, or this is just how it turned out. Takes place after 2x10.

 **Spoilers:** Not really obvious ones, but you should probably have seen both seasons anyway to make sense of it.

 **Disclaimer:** If I had the choice between saving myself and owning the rights to Timeless, jeez that's a tough one... Anyways, I'm far from saved and I don't own the rights to Timeless.

* * *

Her lungs were burning.

She fought against it but couldn't avoid the inhalation.

Instead of air her breath dragged water into her system.

This was it!

With the last remaining panic, her body made another desperate attempt at escape.

Seatbelt still stuck, doors wouldn't budge, and windows didn't crack.

Hopelessness.

Her last emotion?

Billowing darkness engulfed her.

And the world slipped away.

...

A jolt like an electric shock.

She is barely conscious.

Already decaying, being devoured by the relentless current.

Still her receptors feel a touch.

Her mind registering the dull sound of breakage.

Or is it the tiny shards of broken glass that are swimming over her skin?

Arms are reaching around her.

Breaking her free of her bonds, making her light.

She's floating.

...

And then there's air.

Heaps of it.

And her lungs are once again burning.

She still struggles to fully awaken from the depths of her nightmare.

To regain awareness of her surroundings.

Remain clear-headed against the still encroaching haze.

...

Small hands caress her back as she coughs up salty river water.

A voice speaks to her.

The calm tone mixed with a familiarity she can't place.

The world is distorted.

Only parts of sentences get through.

Did she hear her name?

If only she could see properly,

But her vision continues to stay blurred.

Her hands grab out toward the kind stranger.

Hoping to express gratitude without words.

All she feels is the wetness.

Both are soaked and shivering.

Clothes, hair, skin,

A tangled mess of sensations.

She buckles down further,

Can't remain upright.

Hands placed on the firm ground.

She just needs to rest for a bit.

...

Her world solidifies once again.

She's alone.

Water beating against the bank.

A drummer's rhythm.

Crashing, crashing, crashing.

Piercing her eardrums.

She moves up, and away.

Her rescuer nowhere to be seen.

The slippery road above still winding its way through the landscape.

Indifferent to her troubles.

A strange jacket has been draped over her shoulders.

But the wind is as merciless as the water.

Each puff chilling her more than drying.

...

Headlights blind her.

People are coming.

But none familiar.

She questions her sanity.

What happened?

The jacket, disappears in the turmoil.

She is safe!

But something is still off.

Whatever promises was made to the darkness she'll honor.

Anything less would be hypocritical.

A new path has been set.

And she can't help but feel different.

 **xXx**

Across the street, hidden behind the thicket of bushes and trees a shivering figure looks on as the car stops. People rush to Lucy's side. Soon more cars show up along with an ambulance and the authorities. They better get that oil slick removed soon, it's definitely not safe. Satisfied that Lucy is safe the person walks away. Disappearing from the site unnoticed.

The others, all a little worse for wear than when they arrived, are waiting at the Lifeboat, whose namesake she could have used about 20 minutes ago. Wyatt is the first one that notices her. He brings her a blanket and wraps in around her freezing form. She recounts the events. Mission successful. The younger version of her was safe. Wyatt, Rufus and Flynn had had their hands full with taking care of the Rittenhouse agents. This new Rittenhouse, led by Emma, was relentless in their vicious quest to destroy them; ruthlessly going after them when they had been defenseless, before they even knew what Rittenhouse was.

For years after her accident Lucy had been, not exactly afraid, but she had respected any body of water. That was until Amy had dragged her to the local pool and made her take diving lessons. It had helped her fears, but it hadn't quelled the control freak in her; not like time travel had when it had hurled her into dangerous and uncontrollable situations. However, a well-lit pool was one thing, the murky river water was something quite different. Right when the alarm went off and she saw the time and place displayed on the computer was one that had been permanently imprinted on her mind, her insides churned. This was not a day she'd ever wished to relive.

Fortunately for her though, now they could. After the future versions of themselves had helped save Rufus, they now too had the capability to visit a time they'd already been to without fearing the consequences of paradoxes and running into themselves. So out to save her younger self they went. They hadn't quite anticipated the amount of Rittenhouse agents present to enforce this mission, and therefore she had been the only one left to save past Lucy from drowning.

She had seen it happen from a distance. It was surreal seeing herself like that, from the outside, like it was a movie; panic evident in her whole being from the moment the car spun out of control and until it ended up face down in the river, filling up faster than seemed possible. Rittenhouse had made sure that no one else would come this way, by closing the road on both sides only minutes after young Lucy drove unto it. And did the oil slick look bigger to her? She couldn't say, hadn't really had the time to assess it the first time around so she could compare notes to now. But all that meant that there would have been no one there to save her. The person that happened by the first time wasn't going to be there this time. Unless it had always been her. She hadn't been conscious enough last time to see who had helped her, they hadn't stuck around, and she remembered very little of what happened. Maybe she'd blocked it out on purpose? But if she was supposed to save herself wouldn't that mean that she was doing exactly what fate wanted her to do? That she was repeating history, not correcting it or screwing it up, but that there was a higher purpose. That they had been on track this whole time. That all that had happened so far was meant to be? Would that then mean that they were in an endless loop? That they couldn't break free, and had no free will at all? She didn't want to speculate on it too much. Thinking about time travel logic would give anyone a headache.

The water had been cold and dark, just like she remembered it. But it was different this time. She wasn't trapped in a sinking metal box; she was in control of the situation. She wasn't here by accident; she had a purpose, a mission. If she failed, would she blink out of existence? Probably not, since she had survived in her timeline, but she would come back to a time where she hadn't, where the only one who would know her would be those currently traveling in the Lifeboat. And what about all of her accomplishments in life? They would have been erased too. Not even a footnote in the annals of history. In the scope of history their lives were inconsequential; time just marched on unmoved by any differences. She understood now why they called it the butterfly effect, because something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings in the wrong time or the wrong place was all it took for a whole lot of other things to change.

She had come prepared to the river bank. Diving in, it hadn't taken her long to break the glass and unstrap her past self, but it had been long enough for past Lucy to be unconscious. She jolted though, but not entirely awake by her touch, there was some kind of electric current, that apparently came from touching another version of yourself. She hadn't really had the chance to experience this phenomenon with the future version herself that she had encountered; perhaps that Lucy already knew about that? It wasn't unpleasant, it kinda felt like touching an electric fence, so maybe she should avoid too long of an exposure to it. The water helped reduce the weight of the limp body of past Lucy, so when they were clear of the car it was relatively easy to make it back to the surface.

Once on shore she was about to administer CPR, but past Lucy was already coughing up water. Maybe their connection had helped her stay alive? Lucy stayed with her younger self, rubbing more electric charged circles on her back, talking to her to calm her down, calling her by her name which might have slipped out of her mouth unwittingly a few times. But taking comfort in the fact that knowing she wasn't conscious enough to make out who she was. The shock of seeing a slightly older version of herself probably wouldn't have helped under the circumstances. When she passed out again, she made sure she was still breathing, then draped her jacket over her. She could hear cars approaching and knew the guys had made sure the roads were once again open, so people would find young Lucy and help her. She felt bad leaving, but she couldn't stay and risk being questioned or having Lucy see her. Instead she hid out of sight and only once Lucy was discovered did she actually leave.

As the Lifeboat flew through time Lucy wasn't anxious about coming home to a world where she didn't exist. That possibility had been erased, for now at least. There were a thousand of other ways to kill her. This one had been obvious, but if Emma really wanted her dead there were other options. However, the thought of any of them just disappearing from history still hung in the air. And though she fully trusted her travel companions to keep her safe, at least now she knew she was also able to save herself, she didn't have to rely on them to get her out of hot water, so to speak. Yes, she might be clumsy, but she was more than just the resident historian, she was a capable, modern woman. Who quite contradictory to that statement just wanted to go home right now, back to the Bunker, and curl up in a ball pretending she hadn't just relived her worst nightmare, for the umpteenth time, and still survived. You could break down and still be strong, as long as you got up eventually, right?

It was all just so disheartening to think about, that they could all just lose each other in the blink of an eye. Life was already fragile, everyday posed a danger, you could decide to go right and get hit by a bus or eat the wrong thing and die of food poisoning, even contract a deadly disease by touching a monkey, the possibilities were endless. This however was crueler, if you got erased like Amy had been, you wouldn't just be dead to people, but no one would have even known you were supposed to exist in the first place. There was no one to remember you, and no one to mourn the loss. Sure, unless you did something remarkable in your life, made your mark on history, you'd be forgotten after a few generations have passed anyway. But still it's nice to know we're not only worthless, replaceable, organisms wandering aimlessly about the earth, that we're not only born to die. That even in the grand scale of things we still matter to someone.

Lucy didn't have that many people left she really cared about, in fact most of them were usually in the Lifeboat with her. Which was lucky, as that was a safe space. A little bobble of safety on the ever changing tides of time. No matter what changed they would still be the same once they stepped out of the Lifeboat. She wasn't sure she could take anymore happening to them. Being strong had its price, and so did being strong enough to save yourself. As long as it wasn't on anyone else's expense, she could live with that.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the bad ending and I think the second half might have been a bit confusing, jumping a bit about in time; what can I say, what else do you expect from a time travel fanfic ;). I have a few other things brewing, but as always time is limited, and this whole renewal purgatory is killing my creativity a bit.

Random thought; I'm striking a blow for feminism here. I've read lots of speculations about Lucy's car crash. And it's either Wyatt, Flynn or Rufus that are the mystery person that saves her. Sure, I will admit that I too at first wanted Wyatt to be the one that saved her, but I find this much more satisfying and empowering TBH. Girl power all the way. And we girls/women should be able to save ourselves too! Protect Lucy at all costs sure, but don't belittle her! She's no princess, but a queen or a Khaleesi or something along those lines..., you get the point.


End file.
